how will i know the way?

today i sat in the balcony in church. i didn't understand much. an indonesian girl at least told us what chapter the scripture text was coming from. John 14, the first several verses. i read through a couple times...
"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. and you know the way where I am going."
i asked God to speak, to bring His word alive. questions flooded my mind. how did they feel? what were their tones and moods and reactions? what would be my reaction..?
i know Jesus is talking about big houses and Him getting it all ready for us to be roomies, but i think i'd jump in right there with Thomas, my voice edged with panic, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!! going?!! you're leaving?? what do you mean we know the way!!??! the Father's house? is this a joke, because i'm not laughing??!! i don't know where you're going, i don't know the way!"
Jesus calmly replies, "I am the way..."
i saw the confusion right away. maybe because i get hung up there quite often. they were going to have to see past the physical. the disciples had been walking in the footsteps of Jesus, literally, for a long time. now all of a sudden He's out? gone? going to the Father's house, whatever that means? there wasn't a yellow brick road to follow, no road signs.
"You know the way where I am going...I am the way."
don't we still find ourselves right there...longing for mapquest printout step by step directions to the Father's house, longing for physical directions when Jesus has given spiritual directions? so how do we get there? walking "the way" of Jesus, asking Him to show us how to see with our spiritual eyes. Where would He be walking if He were here in ____? in the shopping mall? in the churches? in the slums? where would i find His footsteps? that's where i want to walk, that's where i want to find myself...doing what He would have done. doing what He is doing. doing what He longs to be doing. Yesterday i heard a church leader say, " we incarnate the life of Christ because He is in us."
hmm...
so maybe He didn't check out after all. i think He walks with us...in us...around us...through us...

well, there are my thoughts for a sunday morning pondered and scribbled...