faith hope and love

10 things i'm thankful for

2008-06-18T17:58:00.001-07:00

1. running water. hot. cold. from a faucet. from a hose. drinking water. well water. in a pool.
2. my mommy.my daddy.my sister...yeah, my brother-in-law too. they are irreplaceable (and indispensable, and indisposable, and irrevocable, and...hehe)
3. skittles....my mom had a 41 OUNCE bag of skittles waiting for me when i arrived!!
4. my own coffee pot. for a year i've been pouring boiling water over coffee grinds and just letting them sink to the bottom, or (frown face) drinking nescafe!!! bye bye grinds, bye bye instant!
5. going out of my house and not stressing...because EVERYONE here speaks my language. it's a circus when most of your communication with people is charades or desperate attempts at sign language...or through a translator.
6. fields of green and skies of blue...and texas sunsets!! i start to wilt a bit when i can't see these things...oh and stars too!
7. rest.
8. a job (i took a teaching/coaching position at lee junior high!!), a house to live in, and hopefully wheels of my own very soon...(anyone selling or know of anything?)
9. steadfast friends that love me despite the fact that i leave the country for long periods of time and am not the greatest at communication...
10. hope in Christ...that i can't seem to get rid of or push away or sleep off or forget about or talk myself out of or label as nonsense. there it remains, because He has remained.

my cup runneth over...

ok and to change gears...i'm happy to be a texas girl. the last couple days i've enjoyed time working out at the ranch. i'm working on a farmer's tan and it ain't pretty. today we ear-tagged spring calves and sold off some bigger ones...it was fun. and my hot shot daddy shot a rattle snake!! i am definitely back in the lone star state!

back in the sweet state of texas

2008-06-08T04:59:00.000-07:00

well, here i am back in texas...

and it's a little strange. what was the norm for me (which the world would consider far from norm) is now over and gone. a chapter in my life that is over. the people and places are no longer tangible, they're stories and pictures. now i'm back to what was once my norm...san angelo, texas. each time i leave and come back it becomes a little more difficult to settle back in. i'm not sure i'd call it culture shock, maybe just a challenging transition. i've lived out of a suitcase for a year sharing space, time, and life with 12 other girls. now i've got my own room, my own space. i can eat what i want, watch what i want, go where i want, talk to who i want, have what i want...being back in my own culture is a little overwhelming. being a constant learner of new culture has become what i'm used to. somehow i think there's a Jesus culture i can continue to learn and take on...while embracing the good of my own culture and resisting the not so good (consumerism, materialism).

rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will in Christ Jesus...hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.

i've been so blessed to be spending alot of time with my family. they're such a blessing to me...it's been nice to be able to come home, myself. i can just be me, processing and pondering and crying and laughing and remembering and plotting for the future. my family continues to teach me about the unconditional love of the Father... thanks dad, mom, susan
the past year was a challenge, an adventure, a struggle, a joy...a priceless experience. i welcomed new life into the world and mourned over little lives that didn't make it. i sang and prayed over laboring moms. i layed my hands on countless bellies moving with expectant life beneath my palms. i held babies smiling over their futures filled with hope and opportunity. i taught women about Jesus and healthcare alongside my teamates, bla bla...and when i say i, i mean we. i did life with a group of amazing, godly women...and Jesus was there through it all, crying over loss and rejoicing over life. He's been good to me.

my team along with some cherished friends in indonesia

little indian treasures

a lovely indonesian woman

kid in an indonesian slum area

training women in mother and child healthcare in indonesia

taking blood pressures in the maternity hospital in india

indonesian child whose mother was attending our teaching

training the sudanese traditional birth attendants

sudanese momma and babe

indian pastor and wife that we worked with in india

praying for christian student nurses

that hall we'd walk through almost every day with expectancy and prayers for life

my amazing german midwife friend aline

a precious woman we met in the antenatal ward, with her new baby girl

life.hope.dreams.

the day we practiced taking blood and starting iv's on eachother

a family that let us do antenatal care and pray for women in their home.

canadian bethany and i at the beach in perth our last week

me and ash laying in the grass gazing at stars

lindsey from atlanta; my laughing buddy

we had breakfast on the beach our last week in perth, it was sooo windy

our indonesian friends that owned a cute little clothing and accessory store. we'd always go and practice our extremely limited indonesian phrases with them....haha.

a woman we did an antenatal check for, i hope that babe is born by now!

friends we met in an indonesian mallme and some of the girls
some beautiful sudanese mommas

well, on to the future. i'm applying for teaching jobs. yes, it's true. i'm thinking of sticking around for a while, so instead of trying to write anymore we can just go get coffee or something.

goodbye to you, goodbye to you...

2008-05-21T03:06:00.000-07:00

seriously, this will have been more than a week long goodbye by the time we get outa here...
i'm not good at goodbye's. in fact the more short and sweet, the better. no long akward pauses, no thoughts like, "i may never see these people again..." i've just never been a fan of lingering over goodbye. i guess it's difficult here in indonesia because we've met soooo many people from all over the city. everyone wants to take you out to goodbye dinner or to a goodbye movie, maybe goodbye coffee ...one guy is even coming to help us out with friday goodbye house cleanup(voluntarily, so that he can clean out our refrigerator...what a boy.) fun fun. when everyone is tearing up *sniff sniff* and sharing akwardly long embraces, that's a convenient time for me to go to the bathroom or maybe wash my hair. i'm not sure why i'm complaining. next week will be worse. i've spent a year with 12 other girls with hardly any privacy. in fact since leaving perth we haven't even been able to go out alone...everything's been in pairs or threes or 13's. in a week i get to start saying goodbye to them. i'm not an emotional fareweller. it's not that i don't care, life just goes on. anyways, i guess it's been a while since i posted anything and this is the best thing i could come up with. haha. anyways, i have to go and clean up...a couple of my lovely indonesian friends are coming for goodbye time. or maybe i'll just call it "see you later" time. i like see you later, it's less dramatic...bla. bla.

Minguu-Sunday

2008-05-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today was beautiful...i think Sunday is my favorite day of the week.

fellowship...singing...laughter...people...

i really love people.

over the past 10 months i have met so many beautiful people. they have come in many different shapes and sizes and colors, but all beautiful. a variety of traditions, ways of doing things, eating habits, languages, beliefs...

last night my leader came and said that we were expected to share a message at the church we were visiting this morning. our contact had called 5 minutes earlier. i said i could...

church was so beautiful this morning...it was alive, and vibrant, and passionate. i ended up speaking at a youth service, which was a fun opportunity. they're really in love with Jesus...

afterwards they escorted us to a little office where KFC chicken sandwhiches, coke, and fun little indonesian desserts awaited us. beautiful hospitality.

immediately after we finished at church we went into our own backyard neighborhood and finished the last day of a 3 day mother and child healthcare seminar. i love the 3rd day. today the women took what they learned to the streets. they chose people they wanted to visit and taught them something they learned over the past couple of days. they took us to see a woman with a newborn, and like pros they taught on breastfeeding and cord care. they visited other moms teaching them about good nutrition and dehydration and fever care...it was alot of fun.

later we stayed to pray for the family that let us meet in their home. they're a christian family living in what they call a "fanatical muslim" neighborhood. their house is actually a 2 minute walk away from where we live. mrs. lani especially is really lovely...she made us feel right at home and made loads of fried indonesian snacks for all of us each day. then after all of the women would leave she would bring out more plates with more special snacks. she doesn't speak a word of english, but her actions spoke love and hospitality and welcome...

we've also had some of the most amazing translators...they give us their free days to come out with us and translate. beautiful selflessness.

hopefully in the next couple days i can share about what i spoke about in church this morning...

free socks

2008-05-06T02:20:00.000-07:00

last night we went bowling. we got free socks!! reedok socks. i bowled a whoppin' 74 folks. not great, not too shabby...

random Sunday

2008-05-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

seriously, my life is so random. today we went to a wedding. we didn't know the bride or the groom. never met them. someone invited us yesterday and said it would be nice if we came...congrats to dewi and rocky. aren't they beautiful!? we got a free meal out of it and a taste of indo culture as well. they even wanted a pic with all of us. cheese. we posed smiling and melting...it must have been 143 degrees or close. maybe not. all that body heat and humidity was a real downer though. we've almost given up on fixing our hair and makeup before going out...anyways i took some uninteresting pictures to keep myself mildly entertained...this lady took off her glasses and posed for me. sweetheart. i wanted a picture of her eating her avacado ice cream, but she opted for serious rather than silly.

so rachel and i had a contest to see who could pull off the biggest pair of sunglasses. are big sunglasses still in? how would i know. i've been searching for a girly magazine all over that's not in indonesian. i finally found an In Style magazing thursday. i tore through it checking out the latest ridiculous things people are wearing. after a couple "that's so last year" thoughts i checked out the date. June 2007. nice. oh well, don't judge me if i come home still sporting tights under a baby doll dress, huge shades, and a shaggy fringe.

random post for a random day...

i'm such a mystery

2008-05-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

here are the answers:

1. right after i turned 18 (senior year) vanilla ice did a show at graham's...me and 2 of my friends had to go. i can still remember jamming out to vanilla ice on the playground when we were in 3rd grade...i won't say it was cool, because....well, it wasn't.
2. usa, mexico, australia, singapore, thailand, dubai, india, sudan, uganda, indonesia.
3. duh
4. during my 3 months in india i did catch 28 beautiful, slimy, screaming babies...we were working in a government maternity hospital that saw 50-70 delieveries a day, so needless to say there were enough deliveries to go around!
5. can't do it
6. i shot my first deer when i was in the 5th grade, so that would put me at 11. my papa miller used to come and pick me up from school at fairview and we'd drive out to the ranch for an evening of hunting...

there you go.

how well do you know me...?

2008-04-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

how does this go? 5 lies and a truth? 5 truths and a lie? ummm...ok. here it goes...i was "tagged" by my sister, whatever that means. see if you can figure me out..

1. i have seen vanilla ice in concert.
2. i have set foot in 10 different countries.
3. i can drive a tractor.
4. i've delivered 28 babies.
5. i can touch my tongue to my nose.
6. i shot my first deer when i was 11 years old.

5 fact, 1 fiction...take your guess folks.

shall i tag...kristin? yes.

trouble makers

2008-04-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

Christians should be trouble-makers, creators of uncertainty, agents of a dimension incompatible with society.
-Jacues Ellul

how will i know the way?

2008-04-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

today i sat in the balcony in church. i didn't understand much. an indonesian girl at least told us what chapter the scripture text was coming from. John 14, the first several verses. i read through a couple times...
"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. and you know the way where I am going."
i asked God to speak, to bring His word alive. questions flooded my mind. how did they feel? what were their tones and moods and reactions? what would be my reaction..?
i know Jesus is talking about big houses and Him getting it all ready for us to be roomies, but i think i'd jump in right there with Thomas, my voice edged with panic, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!! going?!! you're leaving?? what do you mean we know the way!!??! the Father's house? is this a joke, because i'm not laughing??!! i don't know where you're going, i don't know the way!"
Jesus calmly replies, "I am the way..."
i saw the confusion right away. maybe because i get hung up there quite often. they were going to have to see past the physical. the disciples had been walking in the footsteps of Jesus, literally, for a long time. now all of a sudden He's out? gone? going to the Father's house, whatever that means? there wasn't a yellow brick road to follow, no road signs.
"You know the way where I am going...I am the way."
don't we still find ourselves right there...longing for mapquest printout step by step directions to the Father's house, longing for physical directions when Jesus has given spiritual directions? so how do we get there? walking "the way" of Jesus, asking Him to show us how to see with our spiritual eyes. Where would He be walking if He were here in ____? in the shopping mall? in the churches? in the slums? where would i find His footsteps? that's where i want to walk, that's where i want to find myself...doing what He would have done. doing what He is doing. doing what He longs to be doing. Yesterday i heard a church leader say, " we incarnate the life of Christ because He is in us."
hmm...
so maybe He didn't check out after all. i think He walks with us...in us...around us...through us...

well, there are my thoughts for a sunday morning pondered and scribbled...

tribute to sudan

2008-04-06T06:24:00.000-07:00

this is my life...

Mother and child healthcare seminar

Day 1

Day 3

We had anywhere from 30 to 40 women come each day to learn how they could love God and take care of the people in their community.

I found alot of healing on this dusty road to Congo. This tree was like a wise old friend with it's patch of golden leaves and spacious shade and deep roots...i like trees.
Our dear little friends...sammy, josephine, dosa, and another neighborhood kid.
Bethany, me, and rachel on the way to an island clinic in Uganda. Island treasures that welcomed us and...
bid us farewell.

More of our Sudanese friends/translators/sisters.

This dear woman had been working as a traditional birth attendant for more than 30 years. She helped deliver the healthcare worker who now runs this clinic. She told us she was our mother, dear woman...

"let's go little sister!"

how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news...

We did 2 weeks of teachings in a village under an enormous mango tree. i had so many "is this really my life?" moments.

Many of these women have been refugees most of their lives. My friend taking my picture with my camera.

Our beautiful students/teachers.

Our sources of joy and laughter and fun!

Who needs a stroller?

I grew to love these dear women...I think Rose (the one with the belly) has delivered since we left. She wanted me to catch her baby, but baby didn't want to come. I pray she had a joyful delivery...

Cheese!

Most popular house model...it works for the kitchen, living room, bedroom, dining room...

hi from singapore!!!

2008-04-04T02:43:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!!

we're in singapore getting indonesian visas! we'll fly out tomorrow morning to hit up the last leg of this journey. new places, faces, language, food, culture...again, again. i was just pondering with my friend ashley..."i'm not sure i've got it in me to do this all over again in a new country." this morning during a team time of worship all my heart could muster up was "Lord, You are worthy of whatever i have left." now talking with ashley i'm thinking, "oh jill, you're so dramatic..." haha has God ever left me high and dry? we decided all it boiled down to was loving God and loving people day to day. that's it. Mother Theresa said, "Following Jesus is simple, but not easy. Love until it hurts, and then love some more." That's where i feel like i'm at. i loved alot of people in india. and then i loved some more people in africa, until it hurt. until i cried. until i didn't know what to do with myself. and then we had to leave. i had to leave my loves behind. i still hurt. "...so this is what it feels like to leave behind a love, or to be separated from a love. my heart is heavy as i sit watching the African sun set behind the field of green grass and mud huts. i'm tempted to listen to old school love songs and feel sory for myself. the foxes have holes and the birds have nests, yet the Son of man has no where to lay His head..." (journal entry from march 25, uganda after we left sudan) So this is where i am...love until it hurts, and then love some more....

i'll be back to updating with lots of pics as soon as we get settled in. yea!

goodness gracious

2008-02-09T02:52:00.000-08:00

hello everyone!!!
(or anyone who is still checking this blog since i pretty much quite posting)
you wanna know why? it costs stinkin' $6 an hour for internet AND I'M STAYING 4 MILES OUTSIDE OF TOWN. AND NOW I'M GOING TO TYPE THE REST OF THIS POST IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE CAPS LOCK KEY GOT STUCK. ANYWAYS, YEAH EVERYHTING IS EXPENSIVE HERE BECAUSE EVERYTHING HAS TO BE IMPORTED. SO WE JUST COMPLETED MONTH ONE. AND I'M LOVING IT. THE CULTURE IS WARM AND LAID BACK. SOOO GREAT. THE WEATHER'S HOT, BUT IT COOLS OFF ENOUGH TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. I LOVE THE PEOPLE, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. AND OH THE CHILDREN, SO ADORABLE. WE'RE DOING A LOT OF TEACHING ABOUT MOTHER AND CHILD HEALTH CARE AND THE GOSPEL. WE'LL BE IN VILLAGES, MOST LIKELY SLEEPING IN TENTS, FOR THE REST OF OUR TIME HERE. YIPEE...HAHA. OK WELL I'LL UPDATE WHEN I CAN!!! this is all i can afford to write. and hey, the key unstuck, haha. bye for now
blessings

warning to anyone who actually reads my blog, hehe

2008-01-05T00:17:00.000-08:00

sooo...on january 8th around 4am we're flying out! leaving india. goodbye. we're headed for sudan for 3 months, yippee. the thing is that i might not have alot of access to the internet there. i will update as much as i possibly can, but it might not be much. certainly not as regularly as i have here. please pray for us, we will be visiting 3 different cities in southern sudan helping out in hospitals and communities with mother and child health care. pray for us. email me anyways, i love to hear from people....i'll talk to you when i talk to you.

Oh come let us adore Him...

2008-01-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from then on and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:6-7

Thursday we went to a Christmas party at the hospital. Sister Elizabeth, our lovely nurse friend, planned it all out. She said, "We will lure them with the food, and then we will preach them the Gospel!" She is one of the most passionate people I've met, there is a fire that burns in her heart for the message of Jesus Christ. She got all the christians at the hospital (very small minority of staff and students) to come together to make this program really great.

Everyone showed up from the "chief madam" to the "dimas" that do the cleaning. There were songs, prayers, and scripture readings. The "chief madam" even called us forward one at a time to thank us for our help. She awarded us with a small statue of the Hindu dancing god. (We're all still trying to figure out what to do with those.) My favorite part was when some of the christian student nurses acted out the nativity. It was all in Telegu, so I couldn't understand the words spoken, but I know the story by heart. Their costumes were brilliant. Gabriel had tin foil wings. Joseph had a marker drawn beard and mustache, as did most of the shepherds and wise men (you have to be creative with an all female cast.) Baby Jesus was played by a precious baby that was abandoned in the nursery, we call her Daniella. I was lost in the story, smiling and watching along with everyone else. As the wise men bowed themselves, bearing their gifts, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. What, what?? "Where is this coming from?" i asked myself. From somewhere deep within came the simple words, "This is the story of MY JESUS." My precious, Jesus. My Friend. My Love. My Provider. My Comforter and Counselor. My Guide. My King. My Prince. My Everything. They were telling the story of my Jesus, and it touched my heart so deeply.

Isaiah prophesied that there would be "no end to the increase" over his kingdom, His government. I see with my own eyes that the zeal of the Lord is accomplishing His purposes all over the world! In some places the gospel spreads like wildfire, and in other places it's more like roots growing underground slowly but deeply. He is active, not slow to fulfill His promises, but patient with His creation. Praise Him.

For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations. Isaiah 61:11

goodbye to the Government Maternity Hospital

2007-12-29T01:31:00.001-08:00

We finished our time at the Hosptital. It seems like yesterday that i walked onto the compound like a schoolgirl--nervousness, excitement, and expectancy all churning in my belly. Now we commit the babies born, the mothers loved, and the seeds of hope planted into the hands of the Almighty...

A view from the roof intoone of the courtyards full of waiting families.

Our prayer corner on the roof.

3 Generations...

Where thousands of screaming babies have been weighed and welcomed.

GHM is a place where God taught me that grace could be found in unusual places.

Hundreds of stories of the King were shared, i think the babies will pass them on...

Noel spelled H-E-N-R-Y

2007-12-29T01:02:00.000-08:00

This Saturday morning I went strolling down Abids. Abids is a busy street where life happens. My nostrils took in the polluted air, but it didn't bother me like it did when we first moved here. Buses, cars, and rickshaws zoomed past us and occasionally a rickshaw would stop to see if we wanted a ride. I dropped a rupee into the hand of a sweet elderly woman, her severely deformed legs peeked out from under her skirt. A group of school children clothed in uniform stared, giggled, and then shyly waved. The school children, especially the girls, always wave. I was not alone, in fact I was in great company. My friends Hollie and Noel walked alongside me chatting and taking in the sights, smells and sounds. Although it all sounds quite glorious, one actually grows used to it. All the specifics fade into the sum of the city... Back to my company, we have all grown quite fond of Noel. Maybe it's his gentleness or his secret intellect or his genuine care for one's well-being. He is famous for saying, "My name is H-E-N-R-Y but you can call me Noel." I can still hear him spelling it out, never actually saying "Henry." Noel lives somewhere close by, although I'm not sure quite where. Maybe he sleeps on a street corner that he calls his own or in a makeshift shack. I wouldn't call Noel a begger, he's never asked for anything. You see Noel used to work in a bank and was even in the peace corp for a while. You wouldn't guess that about him unless you talked to him for a while. He has long grey locks that are always slicked back, a wiry frame, a kind face, and an unabashed smile revealing several missing teeth. He has one shirt, one pair of pants, and a pair of sandals that have holes worn all the way through. Noel wanders the streets in our neighborhood, and when he sees us he always politely asks how we've been and if we have "taken breakfast." This morning Hollie and I took Noel christmas shopping. A whopping $8 bought him a plaid button down, long-sleeved shirt and a new pair of trousers. He picked the cheapest. Once a bright little school girl told us not to talk to Noel because he was a begger. Hollie smiled and responded, "He's my friend."
Why do I introduce you to Noel? Because he's precious and he teaches me about life. I'm not sure how to put it all into words, how can an individual be put accurately into words? words no matter how extravagant cannot perfectly describe something living, breathing, changing, moving, feeling...although somehow i try.
One night i was walking home past the small chapel near where we stay. there were people inside and the priest was leading them in prayer over a loud-speaker in a deep, mono-tone voice. there were people looking around and teenagers talking. and then i saw him. i stopped and a tear built up in my eye. in the pew closest to the exit sat Noel with his hands in his face. i think Jesus would have been friends with Noel had they ever crossed paths....
but maybe they have, and maybe they are...
maybe i just want people to love people more...especially the outcasts, the poor, the lonely, the mistreated, the misunderstood. i think Jesus was that way. He loved people. Free of charge. No strings attached. Without thinking about how He might be blessed. He loved people.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted; to understand than to be understood; to love than to be loved; for it is by forgetting self that one finds; it is by forgiving that one is forgiven; it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life. --Mother Theresa

i'm dreaming of a white christmas...

2007-12-25T05:01:00.000-08:00

This Christmas morning i awoke to the sound of a crackling fire and the smell of freshly made coffee. i layed for another moment in my cozy bed indulging myself in a few more minutes of dreaminess. oh it is Christmas morning, what a merry day! i arose and stretched, oh the bliss of a quiet, still dawn. presents, friends, laughter, tasty treats...i glanced towards the window and what did my eyes behold?? could it really be?? was i dreaming? i jumped up and almost stumbled over my slippers as i raced towards the window. my eyes focused in on the flittering snowflakes, carelessly floating down from the early morning sky. as i gazed into the courtyard i saw the cook's 2 precious girls placing the final touches on a perfectly jolly snowman. a sweet carol began to fall from my lips, and then to my pleasant surprise all my room-mates joined in. we sang in perfect harmony and then began to dance around the room with perfect grace and balance....yeah right. and then frosty came alive and joined us for morning tea and cookies.
well Christmas in india has been good, but not exactly as i explained above. not even close, really. we spent a quarter buying each person stocking stuffers. yes, a quarter on each person which is 10 rupees. we received bracelets and earrings and chocolate and pens and gum! we don't have a tree, so we gathered around a nativity scene that we each contributed to. i made mary. my friend hollie made baby Jesus, she even crocheted Him a little hat...the whole gang was tacked to the wall from the angel to the shepherds. they were a motley crew, but hey we made do. after we had opened all our little treats, we sat around and laughed and chatted and played silly games. some of us went to a midnight mass at the catholic church on the compound on which we are staying. we sang songs and stared at all the brightly dressed indian women and the children in new outfits. we gladly went inside when they announced that although they were glad that visitors had come to their service, holy communion was only for catholics. i was nodding off at that point, it was almost 2am. today we slept in and awoke for breakfast and the exchanging of "secret santa" gifts. and no there are no fire places, crackling fires, or snowmen. it was so stinkin' hot today we thought about going swimming. we ate a buffet lunch and stuffed ourselves. swimming, yeah right. we went home with our full bellies for an afternoon nap.
this is my first Christmas away from home. i guess it's not too bad because it still doesn't seem like it's really Christmas. no lights. no people ringing bells on storefronts collecting change for the poor. no sitting in my living room decked out in my pajamas with my dear family to open gifts. no driving around and admiring the christmas lights and decor. no children's christmas pageant. it's just another day. no that's not true, it is a special day to remember one of the most historic moments of all time. God came to earth. and He came as a baby. innocent. dependent. perfect. He came down to us and lived a life of suffering, humiliation, compassion, and servant hood. He died a criminal's death. what does it all mean? what does it mean for human kind? what does it mean for me? for you? this is a time for pondering. for searching. for finding. for loving. for giving.
merry Christmas

*me and my 2 german team mates, renate and aline. aren't they precious?

for christmas day

2007-12-24T00:36:00.000-08:00

Did Mary say to Joseph tenderly,
'Such little hands, such little feet!
They be like little shells we've found beside the sea,
the sea of Galilee'?

And did wise Joseph answer,
'For love's sake our love shall shelter Him, inclose, and hold,
As the low hills about that silver lake shelter it, fold on fold'?

Across the stable, like a wind-a breath-
'The wicked have inclosed Me,' it saith.
'Thou hast brought Me into dust of death.'
Into the dust of death.

And then did Joseph's father-like surprise,
As round his finger little fingers curled,
Call smiles and tears to Mary's mother-eyes?
He clings who'll save the world.

And as the Child in His soft manger lay,
Did gentle oxen in their language say,
'A mangerful of our sweet-smelling hay --
Our gift this Christmas day'?

Again that breath -- An unregarded tree
is growing somewhere, making wood to be,
One awful day, the Cross of Calvary.
The Cross of Calvary.

O Lord, we adore Thee!
The wicked did inclose Thee;
Pierced were Thy hands and feet for us -for me-
O Child of Bethlehem,
Christ our dear Redeemer,
We come and we adore Thee,
We come and we adore Thee,
We come and we adore Thee,
Christ our Lord.

Merry Christmas everyone!

*Poem by Amy Carmichael

life in pictures

2007-12-15T04:15:00.001-08:00

from becca's heart

2007-12-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

"I held a perfect little boy the other day, newborn and beautiful. But he didn't have breath. During the birth we knew he was expected to be dead and we spoke as many words of life as we could.
He arrived silently and limp. His mother cried when we put him on her chest and she touched his perfect face and looked away. I cried too.
I took him into the newborn room, weighed him and held him in my arms, listening to his silence.
I wanted to yell and shake him, or let loose a piercing wail to defy the silence of his perfect body. I had never seen a stillborn baby look so perfect, so capable of being alive and crying and growing and loving.
But I just held him and stared and some tears escaped and the world continued to spin.
If Jesus were in the room I would have shouted at him--if you're the son of God, then raise this baby from the dead. And go into the labour room and take away the pain of all those women. And while you're at it you might as well turn some rocks into bread or rice because there's alot of hungry people outside.
Jesus has heard those accusations before. We want these acts of power, we want him to violently overthrow the Roman soldiers or instantly change a terrible situation. We want him to make everything better.
And he will. But he chooses a different way than we would. He sits in a temple in Nazareth, he stands holding a dead infant in India and says: The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has annointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind and to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour.
And there is much I do not understand. Every so often he does raise a little one from the dead, and I feel the first breaths of ressurection in my own heart and now and then. But Jesus chooses the way of suffering love, of feeding people with a child's lunch, saving an adulterous woman from being stoned, sitting with a Samaritan woman at a well in the heat of the day. Maybe he does some healthcare teachings in a slum and makes some children laugh.
We want him to kill the Roman soldiers. He disarms us with stories and tells us to take up our cross. And somehow this is the way of the infinitely vulnerable IAM God and the patient salvation of the world."
--becca carter, my beloved outreach leader

resolve

2007-12-08T02:20:00.000-08:00

(*3 days after i posted this blog doctors started to come back to the hospital...praise Jesus)
so i've been remembering back to my days in oaxaca. more specifically i've been reminded of the strike that went on for months and months. protests. suffering. disagreement. selfishness.
last monday some politician assaulted a doctor, i'm not sure why. so now there is a city-wide strike. the post-grad docs have been striking for a week. this is not good because they make up the majority of the staff in most hospitals here and do most of the work. the only doctors i've seen all week are head doctors that mostly only supervise and do surgeries.
the assault happened at a children's hospital and the word is that a lot of children are dying because of it. i see it first had. the maternity hospital we've been working in is way understaffed, but that's how it is in every hospital in the city. people are suffering and dying over some stupid political argument that i don't even understand. we have been working more and sending some girls for night-shifts to help pick up the slack. the girls and i have basically been doing the work of these post-grad docs who have studied for 5-7 years.
crazy? yes. absurd.
we are doing what we can, but the strike needs to end. i have seen more deaths in the past week than i have ever seen. i don't like it. GMH sees hundreds of women a day and anywhere between 70-80 births a day. they also receive referrals from all other maternity hospitals in the area, which means that other hospitals send GMH tough cases and people who can't pay.
several nights ago i was on night shift with 3 other girls. there had been a woman there all day with a heart condition. she delivered in the afternoon a beautiful little boy, dead. he was perfect, but lacking breath. she was laying on one of the beds trying to get some sleep. i was conducting a delivery in the very next bed when my staff hollie and i saw that she was having a fit. she had turned onto her belly and every muscle in her thin body was hard and flexed. hollie yelled for the 2 doctors on duty. the next thing i knew they were doing chest compressions and mouth to mouth. then i delivered a beautiful baby girl. hollie walked past me and said, "that woman just died." my world stood still. how could it be? they had to be wrong. couldn't something be done? the husband and 3 women were brought in. there was crying. the new life on her mother's breast right in front of me, and the mourning family behind me. they left, alone. i turned around and saw the woman covered with a blanket, still. why? something in my heart says it didn't need to happen that way.
we are praying that people will come to their senses, that they would get over themselves and come back to work. pray.
please pray for us too. that we would work with passion and discernment and diligence. the doctors who have been working are worn out. they've been mostly without sleep for the past week. pray for resolve.
i will have night shift tonight and tomorrow night.
Lord send your angels to minister. Jesus, come so that they might have life, and life to the full...

strangers...

2007-12-01T02:58:00.000-08:00

we just finished 3 weeks of fasting for the city we're in, mainly the hospital we've been working in. many of us came to a breaking point. we needed more of God. more of His wisdom. more of His strength. more of His power. more of His grace. more of His peace. more of His love. we cried out in desperation for Him to move, to stir, to act...

blow a trumpet in Zion, consecrate a fast,

proclaim a solemn assembly,

gather the people,

sanctify the congregation...
yesterday we met together for worship, thanksgiving, and to share what God had been speaking to us during our fasting. i sat under the weight of the Almighty as my dear sisters shared about my Lord. He is so faithful. He proved Himself at work and always present. a Rock in whom we can put our trust for eternity. as we took turns fasting throughout we cried out to God on behalf of the people here. not only have we seen more favor with the staff, but more opportunities to speak of the love of Christ. another girl and i were able to take 2 of the doctors out to lunch last week. i also went back with becca to visit sunitha ( a woman i posted about a couple weeks ago.) we found her this time with smiles instead of tears, and she said she had been reading a page of the bible every day! God is so good.

do not fear, O land, rejoice and be glad,

for the Lord has done great things...

God spoke to me personally from 1 Peter. i think i identified so much because the letter was written to a scattered church in a land that was not their own. his exhortations called them out to be "excellent" in their behavior and also to be holy as He was holy. somehow i think this is key. as we're strangers here in a foreign land we should try to live up to the Standard each moment. he said, " honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king." after reading that i stopped and pondered for a bit. i could spend the rest of my life trying to live that out. what does excellent behavior look like? Jesus. hmmm....
ok well, it's another day to pick up the cross and to deny myself and to follow Him. to speak what He spoke. to pray what He prayed. to love how He loved. to go where He went. wanna come?

today

2007-11-28T06:21:00.000-08:00

...do not be worried about your life...but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. so do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself...
sunday i turned 26. and maybe i'm starting to scratch the surface of what it means to live in today. some days i'm forced to because i don't know what tomorrow holds or next month or where i'll call "home" a year from now. God spoke to me more on this on my birthday. i sat next to a window basking in the sunshine pondering the past year. 25 was beautiful. i said goodbye to my dear mexico, spent time in texas and followed a wild call from God that has brought me through australia, thailand, and to india. this year will move me on to africa and indonesia and who knows where else. so often i find myself asking God about "tomorrow." often i have found myself waiting for the next big thing, being in a hurry to get to where i'm going. where am i going God? i think i need to have it all planned out, haha. God says "this is life. this is what i created you for." i'm here. this is where i am. now i am living fully for God. now i am living out what God created me for. today i am fully alive in Christ. my cup runs over. today i am walking out God's plans, purposes, and will for me. seize the day. it's a day to soak up the Lord and to bask in His glory. it is a day to share His love and speak out His truth. it's a day to rest in indestructible hope in an unshakable kingdom. may i never be lingering regretfully over the past or pointlessly fretting over the future. today is a gift. see His beauty and absorb it. today is full of potential, don't miss it! yippee! happy day!

My Jesus pondered...

2007-11-17T01:54:00.000-08:00

born in a manger. died between criminals. ate with tax collectors. anointed by adulterers. served by fishermen. scorned by pharisees. sought out by the multitudes. opposed by the proud. pursued by bleeders and lepers and mutes and beggars and blind men and paralytics. born of a commoner. raised by a carpenter. recognized by demons. ministered to by heavenly hosts. tempted by satan. surrendered to the Father. rode on a donkey. washed the feet of His disciples. kissed by a poser. doubted and betrayed by His own. forsaken and raised victorious by God. tried and true. sitting at the right hand of the Father. interceding for the saints. coming soon...

Whoever receives this child in My name receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me; for the one who is least among all of you, this is the one who is great.

I praise You, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight.

Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

you will weep no longer

2007-11-15T04:29:00.000-08:00

O people in Zion, inhabitant in Jerusalem, you will weep no longer. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you. although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it, " whenever you turn to the right or to the left...isaiah 30:19-21

i have been pondering the gospel lately. the good news of Jesus. i've pretty much decided that Jesus was a genius. as i read through the gospels i see how Jesus could take any ordinary daily situation and turn it into an opportunity to point people towards the Father. the gospel is healing and Jesus poured it out onto the dry and thirsty land. to the lost, He said, "I am the way" and "I am the gate." to the confused and wandering He said "I am the Good Shepherd." to those drowning in darkness He is the Light. Jesus is relevant. He is relevant in India and in the US. His message is relevant in every age group, social class, people group, country...
Today becca, sarah, and i went to visit a woman we met in the hospital. her name is sunitha. she is hindu. her husband met us and took us to their house, and along the way told us that sunitha's father had passed away earlier that day. as we walked into the house we had to weave through crowds of mourning family members and neighbors. sunitha came to us in tears saying, "my father is dead, he is nothing." i wanted to tell her about the Kingdom where God will take away pain and death and tears. through the tears and the people coming in and out it was all we could do to tell her that we cared. becca gave her a bible written in hindi and we told her that she could find peace and comfort in God...pray that she will seek Him. she told us to please come back, so hopefully we can talk more about the gospel when we visit her again next week...
they will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.
rev 7:16-17

In spite of...

2007-11-07T04:34:00.001-08:00

in spite of tears and pain and death we believe that the God who made us all is infinitely wise and good. as Abraham staggered not at the promises of God through unbelief, but was strong in faith, giving glory to God, and was fully persuaded that what He had promised He was able to perform, so do we base our hope against hope til the day breaks. we rest in what God is. i believe that this alone is true faith. any faith that must be supported by the evidence of the senses is not real faith.
--Tozer
some days i must will to believe God. i have to believe Him. i must believe that He is good, that His love is steadfast. i must believe Him to be exactly who His word claims that He is...slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness, a merciful and just God. if i don't believe i will break. i find comfort in Tozer's wise words, that i can continue on believing God is good in spite of tears and pain and death. since being here in india i have seen plenty of those along with injustice and suffering and poverty and abuse and selfishness. when i see a mother toil through labor and give birth to a perfect little baby with no breath in him, my senses don't tell me that God is good. that doesn't seem fair. when a sobbing family brings in a fitting, expectant mother and then life leaves her, i don't feel like God is merciful. when a street boy covered in dirt and worn clothes begs me for a little coin, i don't feel like God could be just. but i will sit here and say that in spite of the suffering and pain that goes on in this broken and cold world, God is good, He is just, He is love. i hope against hope in a kingdom that i cannot fix my eyes on, but i can fix my heart on it. i can rest in who God is. it's all i can do, to rest in Him and trudge on doing my best to reflect this good God that i know in my heart to be real and true and present. Lord i believe, help my unbelief...

whispers of King Jesus...

2007-10-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

last week 2 girls and i were sitting on a step outside of the post-natal ward at the hospital. we were praying and observing all the liveliness going on around us. there were countless families sitting in little groups chatting, eating, and drinking tea. a woman in their family had just given birth and was residing just inside the post-natal ward. every once in a while the guard might let someone in to see her. just to my left i saw a grandmother type squeeze out of the ward cradling a newborn in a blanket. she approached a man and handed over the baby to him. he took the baby in his hands and gently brought a tiny ear up to his mouth. he began whispering secret words to the child. i watched from a distance wondering just what he would be saying to the baby. it is tradition within the muslim religion that the first words a baby hears come from his father. he whispers words about their religion and their god allah. as i sat pondering the man finished, handed the baby back to the woman and briskly walked away.

thursday i was posted in the newborn room. i absolutely enjoy those days spent welcoming new life into the world, celebrating birthdays, being thoroughly delighted in each new creation and whispering into little pink ears. when i arrived there were 2 babies waiting for me in the newborn room and 2 more quickly arrived wet and screaming. after i cleaned them off and warmed them up i proceeded to pick them up and whisper into their ears about King Jesus. there was one precious little girl that had been crying, but when i picked her up and started to whisper stories of my Jesus who calms the storm she promptly became extremely calm and alert. her eyes found mine as i told her about His mercy and compassion and love for little children to enter into His kingdom. as i whispered these sweet treasures to her she held my gaze and then slowly reached up and touched my face, not once but twice. i know that newborns don't see well and they certainly don't have the motor skills to control their movements, but for this brief moment we shared something. her spirit understood mine and it was beautiful...

every baby that we deliver gets bathed in prayer and receives a helmet of salvation. we have been busy crocheting hats for weeks now to cover all the precious little heads. we pray for little warriors, little pauls and peters, little peace-bringers and truth-speakers....little children to be added to the kingdom of heaven...and we're believing God to move in ways that are supernatural, in ways that human minds cannot possibly grasp. and i see it beginning among the babies and those who are willing to be child-like in their faith. the Spirit is moving...we're just running to try and keep up.

7 random things about me...a post for susan

2007-10-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

1. my favorite junk food is coca cola and skittles
2. i haven't worn jeans in over a month
3. i delivered my first baby on tuesday
4. if i could visit one place in the world, it would be israel
5. i want to be my mom when i grow up
6. i am reading "church history in plain language" by bruce shelley...again
7. monkeys scare me

well susan tagged me and now i tag k booth and caraboo...

india, beautiful india

2007-10-13T03:54:00.000-07:00

India is glorious. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, the culture....God is so creative. Friday I went along with 2 of my friends to visit a pastor working in a slum area right outside of the city. We had gone to do antenatal checkups with pregnant women, but since we were coming the pastor insisted on calling some of the brethren together for prayer and worship. At one point as I sat on a mat surrounded by 15 Indians singing their songs to our Creator, I so wished that i could capture that fleeting moment in a box. Each of my senses was heightened to absorb the beauty going on around me. Sounds of Indian voices singing in a style all their own, while the pastor beat a tamborine with his son in his lap. If i hadn't seen him playing it i'd have thought he had a set of drums. captivating. the sight of children playing and men and women crying out to God. the bright colors of the women's clothing. the sweet smell of sweat and chicken curry. the body of Christ communing with God in the middle of a slum....

after praying for the pastor and his family we set off to the bus stop. we passed a field where several boys were playing cricket, a sport that i'm still trying to figure out. their game paused as we walked by, they said "hi". i thought they were beautiful. on our bumpy bus ride home i gazed out the window at the passing sights. people's lives were happening. women sat on sidewalks selling fruit. old men were driving their ox-carts. little girls were drinking cokes and giggling on steps. crippled people were extending their hands to passer-bys. muslim women walked down the sidewalk veiled from head to toe. hindu men gazed at the different "gods" at a road-side stand. i sat on the bus thinking of Jesus. "...Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done one earth as it is in heaven..."

and the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14 we have been busy on the hospital grounds hanging out in the antenatal wards, doing checkups in admissions, and assisting in deliveries. my desire is to do it all full of this grace and truth that is found in the person of Jesus.
"..we must seek purposefully to share our increasing light with the fellow members of the household of God. This we can best do by keeping the majesty of God in full focus in all our public servises. Not only our private prayers should be filled with God, but our witnessing, our singing, our preaching, our writing should centre around the person of our holy, holy Lord and extol continually the greatness of His dignity and power. There is a glorified man on the right hand of the Majesty in heaven faithfully representing us there. We are left for a season among men; let us faithfully represent Him here." --Tozer

handmade gods

2007-09-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

To whom would you liken Me and make Me equal and compare Me, that we would be alike? Those who lavish gold from the purse and weigh silver on the scale hire a goldsmith, and he makes it into a god; they bow down, indeed they worship it. They lift it upon the shoulder and carry it; they set it in its place and it stands there. It does not move from its place. Though one may cry to it, it cannot answer; it cannot deliver him from his distress. Isaiah 46:5-7
Just over a week ago i was walking down the crowded streets of Chiang Mai, Thailand. Chiang Mai has incredible night markets that bring people out of the woodworks. me and 3 friends were browsing along with a sea of Thai people, sampling interesting foods, gazing at local art work, trying on jewelry, and marveling at interesting clothing trends. one could easily get lost in the chaos or feel overwhelmed at the sight of it all. the smells, the sounds, the sights...i felt swept up in the moment, thoroughly enjoying myself when my friend Aline grabbed my arm and softly said, "it's just like in the bible.." my eyes followed her gaze to find her staring at a man sitting on a stool hammering out the image buddha. my face fell at the sobering reality rolling before my eyes. it was happening right in front of me just like isaiah prophesied thousands of years ago. i wasn't sure what to do with myself. my friends continued on while i stood and watched, my mind reeling. i turned and caught up with my friends and we continued on our way, but my mind kept wandering back to that goldsmith...my heart felt sad.
I have sworn by Myself, the word has gone forth from My mouth in righteousness and will not turn back, that to Me every knee will bow, every tongue will swear allegiance. They will say of Me, Only in the Lord are righteousness and strength...Isaiah 45:23-24 We can only rest in God, in who He is and what He has said. His hand is mighty to save. pray that blind eyes might be opened to the truth of God.
ok, time to switch countries. we arrived in india a little over a week ago. we are staying on a catholic compound called the pastoral care center. this will be my home for a little more than 3 months. yesterday we visited GMH (government maternity hospital) where we will begin training on monday. the hospital grounds are large and teeming with people...lines of women with precious lives growing in their bellies, families of women waiting, doctors, nurses, birth attendants...my heart lept with joy at the incredible opportunity God has laid before us. so many people just sitting around, waiting, bored...so perfect an opportunity to meet people, speak with people, sit with people, to mourn with people, to be joyful with people, to laugh with people, to touch people, to love people. GMH, here we come....

elephants, sweat, and antenatal care in thailand!

2007-09-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

hello friends!
wow, it is hot here! i get a little jealous when i hear of how fall and winter are right around the corner in Texas. i'm not sure just how hot it is getting here, but i break a sweat just walking to the 7-11 for water right around the corner. haha...

nonetheless, we are all being challenged and stretched in a good way. last week was an amazing time of refreshing and fellowship during the University of the Nations conference that we attended. we heard from an array of speakers and attended some really amazing workshops. youth with a mission staff gathered from all over the world to encourage one another, pray, worship, and seek God's face. some days i felt overwhelmed at the task that lies ahead. so many people die daily without knowing the love of our precious Savior. Thousands of children die every single day from starvation and preventable diseases. Thousands of children and women are trafficked each day into prostitution and the sex industry. shouldn't people have a right to hear about Jesus? shouldn't children have the right to go to school and have a childhood? i guess if i feel that these people have a right, then i have a responsibility. my faith must be an active one, not a passive one. God has not called the church to maintain the status quo, but to bring transformation! "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8 when we see injustice in the world, there should well up from within a holy discontent. Sex trafficking, abortion, people dying from preventable causes...unacceptable. regardless of age, sex, race, or social class each human being has inherent value. Do we value life? What is our response? I pray that we would shield the wind of passivity that creeps through our churches and actively combat these issues that grieve the heart of God. my prayer has been so often of late, "Lord align my heart with Yours."
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke, 1770
"Our temptation is to look eagerly for the minimum that will be accepted." -C.S. Lewis
May we never find ourselves doing nothing or merely the minimum. Let us boldly push forward to fight for justice and kindness. Let us be peace-bringers! Let us be life-speakers! Let us be hope-givers! I pray that you would be the one to chase after God whole-heartedly even when all others choose to stay behind because the road is too steep or rocky or because it's uncharted territory...

on a lighter note we were able to get out of the city yesterday. several of us took a tourist tour of the country side. we did some amazing hiking, elephant riding, and bamboo rafting! we visited 2 different Thai hill tribes, which was interesting. i was reminded of how much i love the country...oh i miss it. this week we will finish up our lecture phase. wednesday we will be leaving for india!! we will be there for 3 months and will finally begin to volunteer in a hospital there! i'm excited to finally have the opportunity to put the things we've been learning into practice...

blessings
jill

i found elvis!!

2007-09-09T03:12:00.001-07:00

i found elvis presley!!!! can you believe it? he works from 5-7pm in the mall food factory here in chiang mai, thailand! unbelieveable...
well we just finished an incredible week attending a missions conference. i heard so many amazing testimonies from missionaries working in places like indonesia, papua new guinea, nigeria, china...basically all over! anyways, hopefully soon i'll be able to post some of what God has been teaching us...
we'll be here in chiang mai for a week and a half, then we're moving on to hyderabad, india!!! blessings...

some thoughts pondered as i'm about to leave the land downunder...

2007-08-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

Wednesday is almost over now here in Australia. In less than 24 hours I will be off on a new adventure. Even as I type these words i feel the anticipation in my belly. I feel it in my heart. I serve a wild, untamable God. At night i lie awake and ponder what lies in wait for me in the days ahead. Adventure. Excitement. Tears. Life. Death. Joy. Pain. Love. Heartbreak. Color. Darkness. Light. Time will tell all that this journey beholds. We go forth as the bride of Christ, advocates of life. The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; Jesus came that people could have life, and have it abundantly. all throughout history the enemy has attacked life. i can see so clearly how he sits pleased as we lose whole generations to genocide and abortion and disease. we have been warned that as we go forth to usher in life, we will not go unresisted. there will be a battle. Paul urged the church in ephesus to put on the whole armor of God so that they could resist the schemes of the devil. so that's what we'll do. we will go forth with the trusty sword of truth in hand and our shields of faith raised to "extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." as i write this, it all sounds so dramatic...really, i'm just going to learn how to "catch" babies in a couple of foreign countries, right? yes. but most of my life i have either been unaware of the battle or maybe chose not to see it. might i find most of the church in the same boat? i'm convinced though, that our ignorance of the battle does not make it nonexistent...it's more like we're off chasing butterflies in a spiritual warzone. Jesus was zealous for truth, He fought for life, and He gave His own life for love. Paul told the ephesians that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. therefore, take up the full armor of God...that's heavy stuff, haha.
these are things i continue to ponder...what does it mean to be a warrior? how do we love as Christ did day in and day out? how do we see into all things spiritual? i am convinced they are things that you just begin to walk in...and grow into...maybe for a lifetime...and day by day. well, off we go to celebrate life and to welcome in new creations with joy and thanksgiving!!

...the Way of Holiness...

2007-08-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

hello friends!
treasures from Isaiah 35...
Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear, your God will come, He will come with vengeance; with divine retribution He will come to save you."
Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs. In the haunts where jackals once lay, grass and reeds and papyrus will grow. And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.
The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it.
No lion will be there, nor will any ferocious beast get up on it; they will not be found there, and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

We are all walking a path, paths that we choose. Dorothy followed the yellow brick road. I want to walk on the Way of Holiness. What does that look like? That's a question i often ask myself and I challenge you to do the same. Probing, questioning, pondering, seeking...the unshakable Kingdom, the Way of Holiness, the radical Cross. Each morning we choose to walk on the path of righteousness or destruction. Will others watch our lives and choose the same path we walk? While the path that leads to destruction seems easy and quite inviting, the Way of Holiness is steep and narrow yet truly beautiful. It is full of healing and redemption and joy and hope and singing! Walk it and invite others to taste and see...

unshakable

2007-07-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29
I'm not sure i can get my head around this unshakable kingdom stuff...but i'm trying. I am figuring out that this should radically affect my life. I am living in and building on a kingdom that cannot be moved. therefore, i will not be moved. i will not be shaken. i will not look to the right or to the left, but i will keep my eyes on the Author and Perfector of my faith so that i can complete this amazing task ahead of me. Jesus is so worthy. He is worthy of my life, my love, my all. and i He knows i would give it...

this week we've been on the topic of labor and delivery. there is so much to be learnt, most days i find it impossible to remember everything i've taken in...all the stages of labor, how to take care of mom and baby in a million different situations, because birth can be so unpredictable. i mean i had NO IDEA that after you deliver the baby, you have to deliver the placenta!!! but seriously, it is AMAZING learning how the baby starts from a single cell and slowly but surely glows into a beautiful miracle of a baby. life is a miracle, and i'm so honored that God has brought me to a place to experience it.
This past weekend the Birth Attendant School found out where we would be spending our 8 months of outreach. We will leave the busy city of perth and travel to chang mai, thailand for the month of september. there we will finish up our last month of lecture phase in preparation for outreach. from thailand we will travel east to hyderabad, india for 3 months to begin working in hospitals assisting with deliveries. from india we will travel farther east to sudan, africa for another 3 months. our final 2 months of outreach will be spent in jakarta, indonesia. sooooo....to say the least, i am thrilled! i never would have dreamed up this journey for myself, but i serve a creative and amazing God. i wanted to see new places and new cultures and hear new languages...so the desires of my heart were more than answered. so now i pray that God would equip me, refine me, prepare me and use me to do my part to see His unshakable kingdom come.
love love lots of love
jill

well, here i am in australia...

2007-07-11T02:52:00.000-07:00

I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For He has clothed me
with garments of salvation
and arrayed me
in a robe of righteousness,

as a bridegroom adorns his
head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself
with her jewels.
For as the soil makes
the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make
righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.
Isaiah 61:10-11

So, here I am a world away from home. there is more than 14 hours time difference between me and most of you. you're all enjoying the summer sun, while we're finishing up winter here. it's wierd. it feels like i've been here so long, but it's been less than 2 weeks. i arrived saturday, june 30 (a day late because i vacationed in the LA airport for an extra day due to delays and missed flights) to find most of the Birth Attendant School students already moved in. There are 11 of us girls in all, number 11 just arrived 2 days ago. Our team consists of new zealanders, germans, and americans from all different walks of life. we are a beautiful team if i might say so myself, and i'm anxious to see how God uses us. We have begun to dig into the textbooks studying the human anatomy at the moment. we are also learning to check vital signs (blood pressure, respirations, temperature, pulse.) it is a flood of information, not counting the spiritual side of it all. God has been challenging me...i sit here wondering how to put that into words. the challenge is quite large...seeming impossible, but day by day slowly attainable. "With all i am i will live to see Your Kingdom come..." during worship a few days ago, these words hit the core of my being. is it true of me? am i willing to spend my life for the Kingdom? anyways, i'm being challenged more each day to be kingdom minded...it's not always easy when the kingdom of Jill is calling for my attention....
on a lighter note we visited an incredible park here in Perth as a group. i took a million pictures of trees...the trees and plants are so different here, it's beautiful! trees teach me...they all have a lesson, a story, a character.

i love you all
blessings
jill

trees & things

2007-06-26T21:35:00.000-07:00

How blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stand in the path of sinners,

nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by

streams of water,

which yields its fruit in its season

and its leaf does not wither;

and in whatever he does, he prospers.

Psalm 1:1-3

I love trees. I am fascinated by their beauty, strength, resilience, usefulness, and life. Most of all I think my fascination comes from the parallels I see in scripture between trees planted by streams of water and steadfast faith. I desire a steadfast faith with roots deeply grounded in the Truth. This tree was particularly fascinating to me for some reason. I found it in Oaxaca last week as I was touring Monte Alban (old zapotec ruins) with some friends. It's leaves were such a rich green and it was covered with bright yellow berries. Its thick foliage created an almost perfect circle of shade; it was shelter. It seemed inviting, protective, and steadfast. I just stood and stared in childlike wonder. Could I become like that tree? Steadfast, immovable, solid...yet beautiful and fruitful. Anyways, I love trees...

So I had a lovely time in Oaxaca. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing old friends and visiting the markets. Haley Holik came along with me to make the trip even more enjoyable. We ate the food, practiced spanish, and rode the buses. It was a bittersweet trip for me though. I bonded and grew to love so many of the people there during my year and a half stay. It was hard to leave knowing that I may never see some of them again...I also missed the Thiessen family. They were incredibly generous enough to let us stay in their house since they were visiting in the states. Well tomorrow afternoon I set off on my next adventure! I will spend the next 11 months in Australia, North Africa, and India sharing the love and hope of Jesus Christ and learning to be a midwife!! haha! I am so excited for this opportunity to learn new skills, to see new places, and to learn about the muslim religion. I will try my best to post blogs weekly to keep you all up to date on my travels and adventures on the other side of the world!

I love you all!

in Christ

jill